Letters to Adam

Letters to Adam, Part 1

Dearest Adam,

Wherever you are, I hope this finds you in good spirits.

I am sorry if it took me lifetimes to finally write  -

Write to you, write about you, about us,

But I want you to know that I have always meant to keep that promise.

My mind is a sea of plastic floating,

waiting to be pushed towards your shore.

----

Dearest Adam,

I want you to know that I have not forgotten our secret garden.

Even if no one believes in it anymore.

All my life I have been searching for that elusive place,

As I imagine you struggling to find your way back,  

even if you would not care to admit it.

We are doomed by our memories.

----

Dearest Adam,

I may have been silent and distant

But I want you to know that I still remember our nights

and our brief life together.

Naked, beautiful, volatile,

Joined at the hip , carved from each other’s flesh.

Drunken and foolish, we spilled our desire on the Earth’s carpet

Hot blood, stubborn and overflowing

The stained have remained for years and years.

Garden of Gethsemane by Georgian artist Merab Abramishvili

----

Letters to Adam, Part 2

Dearest Adam,

I want you to know that I regret nothing.
I know how selfish that must sound to you,

Considering everything what happened after,

I will confess –

I would give everything to sink my teeth on that forbidden sweetness again

And again, and again.  

The serpent was right all along.

----

Dearest Adam

I remember our last day together.

We went inside the holy house,

a house that we no longer understood.  

You were squinting from the light

Of the blinding white marble

I was told to hide my body with a black veil

We were told to be ashamed of our desire.

We walked together, side by side

On the quiet shore

Not knowing what will happen next

Only knowing that we cannot ever return

We watched the fishes swim away

I still think of that day, when Peace came for the last time

a butterfly that we wanted to trap in a jar

We rode home defeated, aware.

There was nothing left to say,

Except what you always said –

“I will see you in the next life. “

To which I (who have lost her faith) replied

“This moment, right now, this is all we have.”

The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

                                  

Letters to Adam, Part 3

Dearest Adam

Of course they told me to forget about you.

They told me I was strong enough, that I do not need you,

that we do not need you. 

After all, we have done surprisingly well by ourselves

They always thought you were just using me

For your own selfish needs

Even though you never made me feel that way.

They tell me the Garden is an illusion that I created in my mind.

And that I was just too blinded by love to see the truth

I almost believed them.

Our children have lost their way

Just as we have been cursed to lose ours.

----

Dearest Adam,

Forgive me.

At some point I had let the  World win –

But I can’t let  them take away everything.

The truth is I still need you.

Of course, it all sounds ridiculous now

I fear to say it out loud.

You always spoke the truth, regardless

 you were never scared of them

I have long envied your liberties

As much as I desire to be, I can never be like you

And that will always be what I love about you the most.

____

Dear Adam

I am happy to tell you

That I am slowly finding myself

Wandering out on my own

As painful as it is to lose you and our perfect world

The curse has turned out to be a blessing

This is not to say that I found the answers,

but that I have picked up more questions

Such is the path to knowledge.

These questions that may seem heavy,

But I found the courage and will 

to carry and pursue them

I can only hope that you found yours too.

Woman with a Parasol by Claude Monet

----

Letters to Adam – Reprise

Dearest Adam,

In the dead of the night,  

at my witching hour, 

In this long winter,

I write to you from this Labyrinth of thoughts 

that I have built upon myself

I write to you as I have promised,

I must tell you and you have to believe me - 

I regret nothing.

This is my vow -

For as long as I live,

I will carry this burden

Ripe in the knowledge of our garden

I will be chasing the butterfly

That has once flapped its wings for us,

And If that should mean a certain death

I will happily die in the attempt

Until we meet again.

Faithfully yours,

Eve